Theres always someone in your life who is your, ‘what if’ person. The person you regret losing, the person who made a difference, the person who could’ve ultimately changed who you are today.

I’ve had one of those people in my life and unfortunately, I let them slip and fall away. You really dont know what you have until you lose it. You end up with this empty feeling in your heart, without a single clue of where it came from. What do you do when you always wonder of what could have been if you had the opportunity to do things differently. When things have been taken for granted and you find yourself at a standstill; unsure of what you should do next. My biggest regret is not losing someone I love more then myself, but not making more of the time I had with them.
So the next time someone walks into my life and leaves an imprint upon my heart.. I’ll never let them go.

There had always been a part of me that wanted to entrust my deepest darkest, innermost thoughts of my own heart with the people who were closest to me. But ironically, the people closest to me, the ones who supposedly harbor a sense of home with me, are the ones who hurt me the most. How many times am I suppose to forgive and forget.. When the scars of yesterday are still evident and the only person who ever loses in these fights are me. Even if you took all I had, it wouldn’t be enough. It’s as if you want to strip me bare of my emotions, of my happiness, of my soul; to the point where I just succumb to weakness and fall at your feet. Just because you don’t see me cry, or because I make everything I do look so easy does not mean that I don’t deserve any compassion. No body understands how hard I work for the things I have and nobody has ever walked a mile in my shoes.. So no one has any right to judge me. It’s just a little sad.. How the people who everyone say are trying to protect me from the world, this supposed “family”, are the ones who bring me down to my lowest, the ones who disregard all my feelings and the ones who spare my input.. How is it possible that in between all this love that they’re pouring towards me, I’m misinterpreting it as … Hate? Its hard for me to understand how terrorizing my life is such an easy task but I guess I’ll never understand. How much more am I supposed to take until they realize that they’re tearing me apart.

And it’s because of this that I’ve lost focus of chasing my dream.. Because I’m too busy running away from the demons in my life.